


Sleeping Curse- Part 1

by queenofdeansbooty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofdeansbooty/pseuds/queenofdeansbooty
Summary: Your life has been linked to Sam’s so as long as he’s alive, you are asleep. You don’t know when you’ll wake up or what you’ll see when you do. You just can’t help but think what Dean is going through.





	Sleeping Curse- Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first part of a two-part story. This is so angsty and the next part is even worse.

“This is all my fault,” Sam said, tears glossing over his eyes as he stared at your body.

“This isn’t your fault, Sam. There was no way to know the witch was going to do this.” Castiel said, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder for comfort.

“No, it isn’t your fault Sam, it’s mine. I couldn’t protect her. I failed.” Dean said. He was by the door, leaning on it with his arms crossed, trying to swallow the pain down. You and the Winchesters were on a hunt.

They thought it would be a simple witch killing and you would be out in no time, ready for the next hunt. But things got complicated and you ended up with your life linking to Sam’s in the worst possible way. As long as Sam was alive, you would be asleep, dead to the world as it passed you by.

Who knows when you would wake up. You didn’t know if you would wake up to just Sam dead or the whole world dead. You helped them through each apocalypse and you helped them save the world. You knew they would fuck it up again.

You didn’t know what you would wake up to. So, here you slept, in your bed in the bunker. Dean never even got to tell you that he is in love with you. He’s always been a big baby, always backing out since he didn’t want to ruin what he already had with you.

You probably wouldn’t be interested in him because who would? He fucks up anything he touches and he couldn’t do that to you. He wouldn’t tarnish you with his damaged soul.

But he already has. He was too late and you were already on the floor by the time he got to you. He tries to drown the pain with alcohol but it was never enough. He tried to fuck the pain away but he realized he only ever wanted to be with you.

But now he can’t and it was his fault.

“Dean, it isn’t your fault. You know that.” Sam said, his red-rimmed eyes looking at him.

“I know of a way for you to see her. I will go inside her head and talk to her, giving you each time to be with her.” Castiel said, moving to the other side of the bed and sitting on it. He looked at Sam who nodded. He and Cas looked at Dean who sighed.

“Yeah, go for it.” He said, moving over to your desk chair and sitting on it. Castiel nodded and he put two fingers to your head, closing his eyes as he concentrated on being with you inside your own head.

_You had no idea what was going on. You didn’t know why you weren’t waking up. You tried calling out for Sam, Dean, and Cas but nothing seems to be working. You were scared and you didn’t know what to do. It was dark and lonely._

_You were so alone in here._

_“Y/N.” You heard your name being called. Your head whipped around and you saw Castiel, a white light around him, lighting up the room you were in. You frowned, recognizing this room to be your childhood bedroom. Wait, why were you here?_

_“Cas, what is going on? Where am I? I mean, I know where I am but why am I here?” You asked, walking over to him._

_“Something happened to you and it’s bad,” Castiel said, grimacing._

_“What happened? Are Sam and Dean okay? Please tell me Dean is okay.” You said, biting your lip in worry. You didn’t care about you, only about Sam and Dean. Dean especially._

_“Don’t worry, they are fine. What do you last remember?”_

_“Sam, Dean and I were on a hunt. We were hunting witches. I went with Sam and I found them. But when he entered her little shop or whatever it is, she blasted Sam back, saying some kind of spell, throwing her hands towards me. I felt a force hit me and then the next thing I knew, I passed out.”_

_“She linked your life with Sam’s. As long as he’s alive, you will be sleeping.”_

_“What?” You said, your heart breaking at this._

_“I’m sorry, Y/N.”_

_“Well, can’t you do anything? There is always a reverse for curses. Please, do something.” You said, getting tears._

_“I’m sorry, Y/N, but I can’t. I can’t do anything and we looked up the spell. It’s very powerful and Rowena is dead. We’re trying to find another witch who is strong like Rowena was but we haven’t found anything.”_

_“No, Cas, please do something…” You said, letting the tears fall._

_“I’m sorry,” Cas said, getting tears of his own._

_“What am I supposed to do? I didn’t even tell Dean how I feel about him. I probably will never see him again. Who knows what I will wake up to. Sam would be dead and Dean might be too. What am I supposed to do?” You asked, your voice broken._

_You slumped to your knees and put your head in your hands, sobbing quietly. Cas looked around awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He sighed and walked over to you, kneeling next to you and bringing you in his arms._

_“I’m happy that I can talk to you and I know you’ll be there when you wake up, but I want to talk to Sam and Dean. I didn’t know that the last time I saw them would be the last time I’d see them, you know?” You asked, staring into Cas’ blue eyes._

_“There is a way. I can bring them in here if you would like me to. It would be just how I am now but instead, it would be them.”_

_“Cas, you would do that for me?” You asked softly, smiling._

_“I would.” He nodded. You nodded and sighed, knowing this isn’t how you wanted things to be but you would take it if this was all you could have._

_“We should start with you since you’re already here.” You said, wiping the tears from your eyes._

_“Alright, that’s fine with me,” Cas said. Suddenly, you weren’t in your childhood bedroom. You were in the middle of a field, bees all around you, buzzing and landing on the beautiful flowers there._

_“What just happened?” You asked, looking at Cas who stood beside you._

_“When you think of someone, your mind automatically connects them with a place that you had your best memory in. For example, this one.” He explained._

_“Yeah, that makes sense. When I think of you, I think of this field. You remember always taking me here when I was feeling down? You looked so carefree, watching the bees and just enjoying life as it is. I guess when I watched you, I felt at peace and I wasn’t feeling down anymore.” You said with a chuckle, remembering all the times you were here._

_It was a lot._

_“As long as it made you feel better, then I was happy.” He said with a smile, a bee landing on his nose. You giggled, watching him try to stare at the bee. But the bee got bored and it flew away, landing on a flower instead._

_“I’m not going to see them ever again, aren’t I?” You asked, your face falling slightly._

_“You never know. The Winchesters die all the time, remember?”_

_“Yeah, they do,” You said with a sad laugh, getting tears. “Sam must be beating himself up right now. I can’t even imagine what Dean is doing to himself. Can I see Sam? Please?” You asked, the bee field fading, going back to your bedroom._

_“Of course.” Just like that, he was gone and it was dark again._

Castiel opened his eyes, looking at the Winchesters who were staring at him.

“She asked to see Sam.” He said, looking at the younger Winchester. Sam looked at Dean who clenched his jaw but he knew you were saving the best for last. Sam nodded and sat on the other side of you, looking at Cas for instructions.

“Just close your eyes and take my hand.” He said, holding out his hand for Sam to take. Sam nodded and sighed, taking Cas’ hand and closing his eyes. Castiel looked at Dean one more time before putting two fingers to your head, transporting Sam into your mind.

_When you thought of Sam, you thought of books. What better place to read than the Bunker library. You knew it was boring, someone so amazing only got the memory from inside their own home but he was best here._

_“Y/N?” You heard him say from behind you. You looked away from the bookcase and to Sam, who lit up the room with his soul._

_“Sam?” You said with a smile, walking to him. Sam was the older brother you never got to have. You were younger than both of the Winchesters and they never let you forget it. When you close to him, you flung yourself on him, hugging him tightly._

_He hugged you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up to meet his height._

_“I’m so sorry.” You said when you pulled away. You looked up at him with tears, letting them fall. You felt like you’ve disappointed him and Dean for not being a better hunter. If you were a better hunter, this might not have happened._

_“Why are you sorry? I’m sorry for putting you in here.” Sam said, looking down. You reached up, rubbing your thumb on his cheek and making his glossy eyes look at yours._

_“It’s your fault, Sam. I don’t blame you in the slightest. It was my fault. I wasn’t a good enough Hunter for this hunt and I let you and Dean down.” You said, pulling your hand away with a sigh._

_“Don’t ever think that, Y/N. You’re a badass hunter and Dean and I would agree that you did everything you could back there.” Sam tried to make you feel better._

_“It just sucks that I won’t ever see you again. And I won’t see Dean because you all might be dead.” You got tears, putting your head down in shame._

_“No, no, please don’t think that,” Sam said, taking a few strides to get to you. He cupped your cheeks and made you look up at him. “I’ll always be here. As long as we have Cas, I can visit you whenever I was. This feels, real, no? I’m not going anywhere.”_

_“I love you, Sam.” You said, meaning it in a sibling kind of way._

_“Right back at you,” He said with a dimpled smile. You wiped your tears and smiled at him. “Now why are we in the Bunker library?”_

_“Cas told me that when you think of someone, your mind automatically pairs a place with them. My best memories of you are in here. You’re just so smart and you always think of everything when we’re in here. Plus, and Dean doesn’t have to know this, we almost hooked up in this room, remember?”_

_“Ugh, don’t remind me!” He said with a smile, sitting at one of the tables._

_“Yeah, we just may have had too much to drink that night. You know I would never hook up with you, right?” You said, sitting next to him._

_“I know. I would never hook up with you.” He said with a smile._

_“Good.” You said, staring at him._

_“You want Dean?” He asked, breaking the silence._

_“Yeah, I do.” You said with a teary smile. This isn’t goodbye, Sam. I’ll always be here. Please don’t forget about me.” You said, standing up when he did._

_“How could I ever forget you?” He said with a smile, hugging you tenderly. “We’ll make this a nightly visit, yeah?”_

_“You got it.” You said with a smile. He nodded and stepped back from you, walking to the place he entered from._

_And just like that, he was gone and you were alone again._

Sam opened his eyes, a few tears escaping before he wiped them away. He smiled at Cas who did the same and both men looked at Dean who wasn’t ready for this.

“She wants you,” Sam said, getting up from the bed. Dean sighed and he scratched at his very short beard, forgetting to shave it after what happened to you. He sighed and he nodded, knowing he needed to do this.

He got up from the chair, Sam taking it while Dean sat where Sam was previously. Cas held out his hand and Dean took it, closing his eyes. Castiel put two fingers to your head and let Dean handle things from there.

_It didn’t matter where you were or what kind of monster you were fighting, there was one thing Dean always had with him: his car. That car has been your home for many years, always taking care of you and the brothers._

_You couldn’t help but think of the Impala when you thought of Dean. It was a given. You didn’t have to look to know he was sitting next to you, his hands fidgeting. You were in the passenger’s seat and the silence was killing you._

_You looked at Dean the same time he looked at you and one look in your eyes, he let his tears fall, beating himself up._

_“Y/N, I’m…”_

_“Don’t talk.” You leaned over and pressed his lips to yours, kissing him like you should have all those years before. He kissed you back, expressing his love to you wordlessly. You shifted, putting your legs over his waist to settle yourself on his lap._

_You kissed him better, grabbing his cheeks with your tiny hands. Well, they were tiny compared to his. When you both needed air, you pulled away, tears leaving your eyes._

_“I love you, Dean and I hate that I didn’t tell you that before.” You said, staring into his eyes._

_“I love you,” Dean said, meaning the words he said. You smiled and kissed him again, not caring if there wasn’t any talking. You just wanted to be with him and this is as much as you were going to get. You pulled away again to kiss his jaw. You kissed his neck but just stopped, putting your head on his chest listening to his heart beat._

_He pressed his hands on your back, rubbing it soothingly, never wanting to let him go._

_“This wasn’t your fault, Dean and you know it.” You said after a moment._

_“Then why does it feel like it is?” He asked. You got off his lap and sat really close to him, putting your head on the arm that he had stretched out on the back of the seat. You stared at him and wiped away the stray tear that fell from his eyes._

_“Because you love me. Yes, it sucks that I probably will never see you again. That is if you find a witch to undo this spell. But I’ll be here. You can always visit me. Just don’t forget about me, will you?” You said, rubbing your thumb across his stubble._

_“I could never forget about you, you know that.”_

_“Just promise me one thing.” You said, sighing._

_“Anything.”_

_“Don’t give up. I know you very well, Dean. I was there when your dad died, when Sam died and when our friends died. You give up and you let yourself drown. Don’t do it. I want you to keep fighting, to keep hunting and killing those sons of bitches. I want you to meet someone who you love and I want you to try.”_

_“I already met someone: you.” He said, getting tears again._

_“I won’t be there, Dean. I love you and that will never change and it kills me to say this but I can’t be selfish. I can’t do that to you. Because I may never see you again and that’s not fair.” You said, letting the tears fall._

_“Fine, I will. But let’s have this moment.” He said, pulling you into his arms, your head on his chest. He leaned over and turned on the radio, a soft song playing. It wasn’t what Dean usually listened to but it worked for this situation._

_He started to softly sing it to you and you let the tears fall silently. Life didn’t always give you what you wanted but it gave you what you needed._

_And you needed this._


End file.
